Total Sex Island
by donki-shouben
Summary: Like the TV show, only with sex! See who hooks up with who! Plus plenty of humor, and even some drama!
1. Chapter 1: The Challenge, & Pairing Off

**Author's Note: I thought of this during work, and it was so funny I had to write it!**

**It's a sexed-up version of **_**Total Drama Island.**_

**That is, it's just like the TV show, only the challenge involves sex!**

Total Sex Island 1: The Sex Challenge

(a lost episode of _Total Drama Island_)

Disclaimer: _Total Drama Island_ is copyright Fresh TV Inc.

The author is in no way associated with the owners of the copyright.

This story was written for non-profit entertainment purposes only.

Chapter 1: The Challenge, and Pairing Up

"Hello, and welcome to _Total Drama Island_!" Chris, the host, began. "On our last episode...Nah, screw it! Who cares what happened before? I know what you really want to see! Who hooks up with who? Find out in the most...stimulating episode yet of _Total Drama Island: The Lost Episodes_!"

Dear mom and dad, I'm doin' fine...  
You guys are on my mind...  
You ask me what I wanted to be  
And now I think the answer's plain to see...  
I wanna be...FAMOUS...  
I wanna live close to the sun...  
Well pack your bags 'cause I've already won...  
Everything to prove, nothing in my way...  
I'll get there one dayyy...  
'Cause I wanna be famous!  
Nah nah nah-nah nah nahhh...  
Nah-nah-nah nah nahhh na-nah-nah nah nah nahhhh...  
I wanna be...  
I wanna be...  
I wanna be famous...  
I wanna be...  
I wanna be...  
I wanna be famous!  
Doo doo-doo doo...  
Doo doo-doo-doo doo doooo...

"Hello, campers! The challenge today is a subject near and dear to your heart...Or some other body part...Sex!"

"What?!?" Owen yelped.

"You can't be serious!" Gwen barked.

"Chris, you've finally gone off the deep end!" Duncan observed.

"I know Canada is pretty liberal, but this is beyond tacky!" Heather sniped.

"Now, now, campers! Settle down! You're all 16, which is the age of consent in Canada. And don't tell me you've never done it before!"

"Well, uh, sure, we have." Harold muttered.

"Good! Because your challenge today is to use sex to turn on me and Chef! We've put private cabanas on the beach so you can do the dirty deeds. That is, _semi_-private cabanas, so me and Chef can get an eyeful! There's only one rule...There _are _no rules! And remember, Chef is way twisted, so he's bound to be into some real fucked up shit!"

Chef grinned evilly.

"You can't force us to do this, Chris!" Courtney defiantly screamed.

"You're right. I can't. Because that would be il-lee-gal! And while we can't record today's challenge, since you're all under 18, it's still an official part of the contest. So if you don't play, you can't win, and get a shot at immunity and the $100,000 grand prize!"

_(In the Confessional Outhouse...Courtney)_

"Not recording, huh? How stupid do you think I am?

I've got lawyers, Chris!"

_(In the Confessional...Chris)_

"I've got better ones."

The teens stood around, unsure of what to do.

"Well? What are you waiting for? Pick your partner, or _part-ners_, and get to to it!"

The group of 22 teens quickly paired up.

"Finally!" Gwen said to Trent. "A challenge we can do together!"

"Come on, big boy! I know how we can win this contest!" crazy Izzy said to Owen.

"Awesome! Lead the way!" Owen whooped, and pumped his arms. "Woo-hoo!"

"This will be so much fun!" Bridgette said to Lindsay, her girlfriend. "Geoff has the cutest little penis!"

"Bridge!" Geoff protested.

"Did I say little? I meant big! HUGE!! Geoff's so big it hurts!"

"Er, it's not supposed to hurt, is it?" ditzy Lindsay asked.

"Let's do it to it, my man!" LeShawna said to Harold.

"I'm at your service, my chocolate goddess!"

"Oh, Katie!"

"Oh, Sadie!"

The two girls who shared a brain yelled and hugged each other.

"Do you know what to do?"

"No. Do you?"

"We'll figure something out!"

"So, uh, Lindsay?" crafty Noah inquired. "I've got a perfect plan to win this thing! What do you say?"

"Okay!" Lindsay chirped. "Um, are you Tyler?

"Sure I am!" Noah lied. "And this is Tyler. And this is Tyler!" Noah added, pointing to the real Tyler and Ezekiel. They'll help us."

"Wow, there sure are a lot of Tylers! What's your plan?"

After Noah whispered his idea into Lindsay's ear...

"I can do that!" Lindsay agreed. "In fact, I'm real good at it!"

"Why am I not surprised?" snarky Noah commented.

"What was that?" Lindsay asked.

"Nothing."

"You're coming with me, pretty boy!" body builder Eva ordered Justin.

"I don't think so!" the vain male model replied, and then began spontaneously posing, thrusting out his pecs and biceps. Justin believed he was hot enough to win any turn-on contest, and didn't need anyone else.

"I don't like it any more than you do, but I'll do anything to win!" Eva declared.

_Click_

"Yak yak yak. Whatever!" Heather said as she blithely handcuffed Eva to a pole.

Then she quickly put a collar on the stunned Justin. When the handsome dude tried to make a run for it, Heather yanked on the leash and applied an electric cattle prod to his posterior.

"Save your energy for the cabana, stud!" the domineering Heather instructed her captive.

"You won't get away with this!" Eva threatened. Try as she might, the pumped-up girl was unable to free herself from her confinement.

"Already have!" Heather nonchalantly responded.

Heather was decked out in an all-over dominatrix outfit, complete with mask and whip. The studded ensemble covered her entire body, except for strategically placed cutouts that exposed her nipples and bush.

"Where did you get _that_?" a baffled Gwen asked.

"This old thing? I borrowed it from my parents. What? I thought I should be prepared for anything." Heather haughtily answered.

Gwen continued to stare in disbelief as S&M Heather led her slave, Justin, to their beachside cabana.

"Wow. How are we supposed to beat that??" she asked her lover.

"True love is the sexist of all, Gwen!" Trent sincerely said. "You'll see! Chris and Chef will eat it up!"

"That's so sweet!" Gwen smiled. "I hope you're right, Trent. Although Chef is way twisted!"

"I can't do this, Chris." DJ said. "It goes against all my beliefs."

"I understand. Of course, this mean you lose any shot at immunity and could be voted off."

"Well, what are you waiting for, hotstuff?" Duncan said to Courtney. "There's a cabana with our name on it!"

"Me? Have sex with you?? I don't think so!" Courtney rejected her juvenile delinquent suitor.

"I don't believe this!" Duncan railed. "Do you want to lose??"

"I don't care! I'm not having sex with you! I do have _some _standards, after all!" the C.I.T. replied.

"Aw, come on! If I don't get it on with you, I'll have to join in some gang bang, and I got enough of that in Juvie!"

"No." Courtney stood her ground, arms folded.

_Next:_

_Sex!_

_Kinky sex!_

_Lots of kinky sex!_

_You'll never guess who wins!_

_(And who unexpectedly hooks up!)_


	2. Chapter 2: Sex!

Total Sex Island

(a lost episode of _Total Drama Island_)

Chapter 2: Sex!

In their (semi-) private cabanas, the hormone-crazed teens quickly got down to business.

Or did they?

"Sorry, LeShawna." Harold meekly said.

"I thought all nerds were good at sex?"

"That's a common fallacy. It was first promulgated by the movie _Revenge of the Nerds. _And while I have traded on the coolness factor of the nerd mystique for years, I myself..."

"Yeah, I get it! You haven't had sex! But you've never even masturbated??"

"Sex is a dirty, filthy habit, and I long ago resolved to treat my body as a temple and not have anything to do with sex. I didn't know there'd be a quiz." Harold laconically replied.

"Then it's about time you learned! Prepare to get schooled by LeShawna!"

"Will this involve losing my precious bodily fluids?"

"Only if we do it right!"

"I'm sorry, Bridge." Geoff said as he pulled away from the beautiful, naked Bridgette in their cabana. "You're right. This..." he added, as he pointed to his shrunken member, "...isn't going to win it for us."

"Geoff, it's not that bad! I'm sure we can do something!"

"This is wonderful, Trent!" Gwen said as she rode her boyfriend. "But will it be enough to...Huh."

"What?"

"In the cabana next to us. I can see Izzy and Owen. And Izzy's putting on some belt...with a banana attached to it???" Gwen mentioned as she gazed out her cabana window and into her neighbor's.

"What? Let me see!" Trent said as he jumped up. "Oh, man! Look what she's dong to Owen!! Whoaaa! Wow. I bet Owen never dreamed food would betray him like this!"

_(Confessional...Owen)_

"I never thought I'd say this, but that was AWESOME!"

Then Owen peeled a banana and ate it.

He sensed some unease with what he was doing and innocently said "What?"

"What do we do, Sadie?"

"I don't know, Katie!"

The two girls who shared a brain, and now a cabana, said after they disrobed.

"I know! Let's do what we do when we're alone at night!" Katie suggested.

"You mean masturbate? Okay!" Sadie replied, and then dug her fingers into her huge twat.

"No! I mean, to each other!"

"Oh!! Okay!"

"Oh yeah! This is fucking great! Keep those puppies together!" Noah grunted as he worked his male unit between between two fleshy mounds. "I've wanted to do this ever since I saw that rack!"

"Really, Tyler?" Lindsay said. "I knew my tits were big, but I never thought I could do this with them! Although I was talking with my girlfriend the other day, and she said..."

"Lindsay?"

"Yes, Tyler?"

"Shut your yap!" 'Tyler' (Noah) rudely said. "On second thought...Keep it open. I'm almost done!"

"When I get out of here..." Eva, still handcuffed to a pole and totally out of any sex action, vaguely promised some form of retribution.

"Well, there goes another great plan up in smoke!" Heather lamented as she sat down next to DJ on the edge of the woods. She was still wearing her dominatrix outfit.

"Justin wasn't as turned on by the S&M thing as you thought?" DJ asked.

"No, that wasn't it. Justin gnawed through his leash and ran off! Turns out, it wasn't a real leash. It was made out of licorice! And that electric cattle prod was out of juice! Stupid parents!"

"Well, maybe now you've learned it's not right to force another person to have sex."

"I don't...I don't want to do bad things. I just want to win and be famous! You know?"

"Not really." DJ replied as the forest critters romped on and around him. "But what I do know is that a beautiful girl like you shouldn't have to do such things just to win a game."

"No one's ever...been so nice to me. Thanks."

"Nice is as nice does. People will treat you better if you treat them better."

"Yeah." Heather sighed. Then she turned to the pleasant, beaming boy and anxiously asked "You really think I'm beautiful?"

"Well...a little moreso without that ridiculous outfit on. But yeah."

"I..." Heather leaned in toward the big-hearted male teen.

DJ responded in likewise fashion.

They met in a kiss.

"Pleeeeease?" Duncan begged Courtney.

"No!" the C.I.T was firm.

"The hell with you! Probably nothing but a cold fish, anyway!" Duncan said as he walked off.

"Excuse me?" Courtney replied. "I probably know more about sex than you do!"

"I doubt that! I've spent time in Juvie! The things they do there, you can't imagine!" Duncan railed.

"And I've been a C.I.T.!" Courtney shot back.

"A Counselor-In-Training? So?"

"No! A Cunt-In-Training!" Courtney declared, then jumped on top of Duncan. They fell onto the floor of the forest, the C.I.T. straddling the kid criminal. "What do you think we do in summer camp all those nights together?"

"Uh...I'm about to find out?" Duncan smiled.

"Gosh! That was amazing!" Harold cried.

"And that's only the beginning, sugar!"

"Wait, you mean...I've got even more fluids in my body than that?!"

"Um-hmm! But that can wait...After you do me!" LeShawna said as she lie back and spread her legs.

"You got it, my Nubian Princess!"

"Are you sure about this, Geoff?" Bridgette asked her cowboy boyfriend. She was leaning forward, over the bed, while he stood behind her.

"Sure I'm sure! Chris & Chef will love some backdoor action, and it fulfills our...requirements." he said as he glanced at his little dick. "It's a perfect fit!"

"I don't mean that! Do you know what you're doing?"

"Heck yes! The guys at the ranch told me they do this all the time!" Geoff replied as he worked lube in and around Bridgette's anal opening.

"The guys where?"

"Never mind! Here goes!!"

"Fuck, yeah! You're in deep!" Gothic Gwen shouted as Trent pumped in and out of her. "Keep hitting that sweet spot! I just hope Chris and Chef like it!"

"Well, someone's watching and likes what he sees!" Trent said after he spied a lone, furtive figure outside their cabana.

Then Trent realized who it was, and his mood changed.

"It's Cody! I think he's masturbating to us! Perv! Get lost!!" he yelled.

"Wait!" Gwen cautioned her lover. "Maybe we can use this. Cody! Get in here!"

"You wanted me, my love?" Cody said upon entering the cabana. He quickly zipped his pants and fixed his belt. "I knew you'd come to your senses! He's not man enough for you."

"Gwen!!" Trent protested.

"We can use him to win the contest!" the gothic gal informed her boytoy, unaware that Heather's ploy had completely failed.

"Eeee! Sadie, that was incredible!" Katie squealed, full of joy, after her BFFF (best female friend for life) made her cum.

"Now do me!!" Sadie urged.

"Mmphblrg." Lindsay uttered, her mouth full of Tyler's (the real Tyler's) manmeat.

Even while occupied, she still couldn't shut up.

Meanwhile, in the woods, Heather and DJ...got it on.

To the horror of DJ's companion critters, who couldn't believe what they were seeing!

"Wow! That was...unreal. And you learned all that in summer camp?" Duncan, in his birthday suit, said to Courtney as he lay beside her in the forest, hand propped under his chin, and traced the fingers of his other hand all over her naked body. "I'll have to tell some of the guys on the street what they're missing out on!"

"What about you?" a curious Courtney inquired. "What nasty sex acts did you learn in Juvie?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know!"

"O-kay!" Courtney went along with the reprobate's uncharacteristic reticence. Then changed the subject. "Want to know what else C.I.T. means?"

"What?"

"Cocksucker-In-Training!" she exclaimed. Then Courtney lunged at Duncan's groin.

"Momma!" Duncan shouted.

"Woo-hoo! E-Scope rules! We'll win for sure!" Izzy manically cheered after she finished Owen's anal de-flowering. "My turn!"

Izzy looked around, confused.

"Owen? Where's my banana?"

"Boo-yah! Can we do that again?" Harold asked. "I still haven't done my sweet Praying Mantis move!" he added as he pantomined some ridiculous kung fu fighting style.

"Can we take a rain check, doll? My babymaker's all wore out!" LeShawna gasped, and mopped her sweaty brow. "Whew!"

"Ahhhh! Yeah!" Bridgette screamed in glee as Geoff screwed her tight behind from behind. "Ride me, cowboy!"

In fact, Bridgette was so ecstatic she kicked her legs.

"Are you sure about this, Gwen?" Trent nervously asked the goth girl sitting on top of him.

"Sure I'm sure! We have to beat Heather and Owen, don't we?" Gwen replied as Cody walked up behind her. Then she leaned down, closer to Trent's face, and whispered "Besides, the entire time he's doing it, I'll be thinking of you."

"Wow! That's..."

Then Cody entered Gwen's ass, completing the doubleteam.

Of course, Trent was not heartened by this development.

"Hey, Cody! Alternating strokes! If I feel you inside there, I'll kill you!"

"Eeee! Katie, that was too much!" Sadie squealed after climaxing. "Katie?" Sadie looked down at her friend. Katie's head was stuck in Sadie's enormous vagina.

"Alright! Homeschool's turn!" Ezekiel hollered, and presented his bulging hard-on to Lindsay's willing mouth.

But he forgot the ruse he and Noah were pulling.

"Homeschool? But isn't your name Tyler?" a confused Lindsay said.

"Yeah! Homeschool Tyler! That's me!" he said, saving the game.

"Ohhhhh!"

Then Lindsay filled her head with something she liked better than facts and wisdom - a raging 8-inch cock!

"That was...nice." Heather said as she lay on the ground next to DJ, snuggling. Both teens were nude, and oblivious to the reaction of DJ's nearby forest friends, who covered their eyes with their paws. "But I don't understand. I thought you didn't believe in premarital sex."

"No. I don't believe in meaningless, casual sex. But when it's with someone you love..."

"Hold on. Love?!?" Heather recoiled as if bitten by a snake. "You think I...love you?"

Heather gathered up her clothes and continued her diatribe. "You know what this was? A pity fuck! Because I, I pity you! Yeah, you heard me!"

Then Heather left, leaving a despondent DJ behind.

His squirrel, bird and bunny forest buddies tried to console him, to no avail.

"I know what you're saying, guys. And friendship's great and all. Super, really! But you can't give me what she can give me, you know?"

"Holy shit! You could give porn stars a run for their money!" Duncan complimented his C.I.T. galpal.

"I thought those skills could come in handy! I plan to go into politics, you know?" Courtney replied.

"Babe, if they don't vote for you, especially after a performance like that, they're crazy!"

"Hey, look! It's Heather! What was she doing out here?"

"And there's DJ! You don't think...?"

"Nah!" Duncan and Courtney said in unison.

In the cabana they shared, Bridgette, in the throes of orgasmic delight, kicked her legs and hit Geoff!

He smashed into the flimsy wall of the cabana, knocking it over.

Their cabana collapsed, and rolled into their neighbor's sex shack.

And so on...

Meanwhile, the most unlikely threesome of all continued.

"You're taking this so well!" Trent said to Gwen as he and Cody enthusiastically double penetrated the goth teen. "Almost as if you've done this before! But that's crazy!"

"Yeah. Crazy! Ha!" Gwen smiled, and tried to put her past sexual experiences with her goth friends out of her mind.

Just then, a giant ball of cabanas, Bridgette, Geoff, LeShawna, Harold, Justin, Katie & Sadie knocked down the DP threesome's cabana and bore all of them away!

The whole sexually confused mess then barreled into Owen & Izzy's cabana, interrupting Owen's attempts at coitus with a bouncing Izzy atop him.

The great mass of people, fabric and tent poles was powerful enough to dislodge even the massive Owen, and slammed into a bear looking through the trash!

The thundering cabanas, people and bear tore a hole thru Lindsay's cabana just as Ezekiel was about to cum down the ditzy girl's throat.

Instead, the bear swiped his huge paw and hit Noah, Tyler and Ezekiel, dick dangling unreleased, into the huge pile of bodies and tent material, leaving Lindsay untouched by the mayhem.

"Tyler? Tyler? Tyler?" Lindsay uttered. "Where are you going?"

"Ah! Finally!" Eva declared as she squirmed out of the handcuffs. Then she spotted Heather returning to camp. "And now for my revenge!"

Only to be overtaken by the humongous spinning ball of sex partners, cloth and bear that also plowed into Heather, DJ, Courtney & Duncan!

The rolling orgy then crashed into the camp's cottages and stopped

"Ow!" Ezekiel screamed in pain. "I think my dick's broken!"

_Splurtchhhh_

"Oh, wait. It's okay."

"Dude!" Tyler yelped. "You got it on me!"

"Wow, Lindsay, I didn't think you'd feel this good!" Noah sighed as he snuggled up against the tender, nude flesh before him.

"Uh, I'm not Lindsay." Cody said as he turned around. "But you know, if you want to..."

"Ahhh!" Noah screamed as he ran away.

"I was going to say 'If you want to get with Lindsay, you should go over there.' What? I was! I swear!" Cody insisted.

"Well, this is another fine mess you've gotten us into!" Heather bitched at Gwen. Both girls were caught tight in the web of mangled bodies and soiled cabana cloth and couldn't move.

"Oh, shut up!" Gwen snarkily replied.

"Now you pay!" Eva battle-cried as she leapt at the helpless Heather.

"Ahhh!" Heather and Gwen screamed and closed their eyes.

But a great paw knocked Eva away from her prey.

"Ahhh! **Bear!!!**" Eva, Noah, Tyler and Ezekiel shrieked as they ran for their lives, the bounding animal hot on their heels!

"Good job, campers!" Chris gave his post-coitus report after everyone managed to free themselves and/or make it back to camp in one piece. "Bonus points for the attempt at the all-camper orgy. Negative points for leavng Lindsay out of it, though!"

"You all...ROSE to the occasion!" Chris remarked with a smirk. "Although special commendation must go to Harold's 'mad skills & sweet moves', Bridgette's buttbang, Gwen's shocking doubleteam, Owen's banana action - Owen, you are INSANE! Don't ever change, dude! Katie & Sadie's lez licks (a personal favorite of Chef's! He is a chubby chaser, you know), Lindsay's everlasting gob-swallower, Courtney showing Duncan what being a C.I.T. really means, and Heather, who surprised me the most all..."

"Fuck you, Chris!" Heather griped. "I hate you!"

"...But the object was to turn me and Chef on, and no one did that better than Beth, our winner!"

"I won? Yay!!" Beth said after she emerged from her position between Chris' legs and took off the paper bag she had been wearing on her head.

"What?!! That's cheating!!!" Courtney howled.

"Nuh uh!" Chris waved his finger. "You assumed because I didn't involve myself in the other challenges, that I was out of this one, too. But I said the only rule was..."

"There are no rules!" the campers all repeated.

"Correctomundo!" Chris added. "Oh, and Beth? I said you won. I didn't say you were done! So get back down there and finish the job!"

"Sorry."

"Oh, and put the bag back on."

_(Confessional...Heather)_

"Chris is such a creep! He probably had hidden cameras record everything so he could sell it on the black market in Thailand or someplace! At the very least, I wouldn't put it past him!"

_(Confessional...Chris)_

"I'll never tell!" he said with a wink.


End file.
